Tuesday, 1 August 2006

Last Gasp

Posted by speedygeoff on Tuesday, August 01, 2006 with 13 comments
As a student who majored in mathematics and philosophy many moons ago, I am seriously attempting to amuse somebody out there with jokes I laugh at. Laughter from readers has been scarce, I don't know why. But I will keep trying. There has been *some* response.

An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: "What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black." "Well, *some* of the sheep in Scotland are black," replies the experimental physicist. The theoretical physicist considers this for a moment and says "Well, at least one of the sheep in Scotland is black." "Well," the philosopher responds, "on one side, anyway."

Yet another attempt at a joke:
A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in an outdoor cafe. They watch two people go into a building across the street. Shortly thereafter, three people come out.
"Hmm," says the biologist. "It looks like they reproduced."
"Nah," says the physicist. "There was obviously error in our initial measurement."
The mathematician looks up from his coffee. "Who cares? If another person goes in, it'll be empty."

Running quote of the day: "As you get fitter, it never gets easier, you just go faster" - Greg LeMond

As planned I am starting to run better today. After three hard days in a row I had a thoroughly enjoyable 19k run this morning. The best I have felt since late June. And isn't it nice to get some sun?


  1. Don't let the geese get you down ~ this victim of ducks disease loves the philosopher's' jokes. At least she thinks that one side of one of the sheep in Scotland thinks she does.

    Thanks for 'Adaptation' - will you be at the BBQ Stakes tomorrow?

  2. Great! Adaptation is cool, eh?

    And a couple of other movies you would really like that I also like and own are "Run Lola Run" (which I know you have seen), and "One Heart Huckabees" (Alternatively read as "I Love Huckabees", but purposefully ambiguous). Anyone who likes my philosopher jokes would just *love* Huckabees.

    I am currently ploughing through my actual all time favourite movie, extended version, "The Two Towers", a work of genius.

    See you at the Stakes.

  3. i chuckled more at the first joke than the second...

    and i do agree with that LeMond quote...

    the sun was nice but iwas a bit windy around the lake...

  4. "As you lose fitness, it never gets easier, you just go slower" - ET

  5. Lol, I do love your jokes - they're pretty lame but good to annoy kids with! ;)

    You haven't included our relay team in your results! Calver's Calvery! C'mon! We rocked! Or, in the style of your jokes, ran over rocks...

    Heh, now that was lame! Woohoo, beat that Geoff!

  6. Sorry aki, in the official results when I click on "Campbell Carvery" or whatever you said, I get "this page cannot be found"; no hint of who may have been in this or any other team, or what their splits were. I am sure they all ran well, whoever they are.

    Ewen, you stole my next quote! Aka "Carolyne's Corollary"!

  7. Ok speedy, look at all the "comments" your comments elicited!! Obviously lots of people really are enjoying your jokes although sometimes for us simple folk it takes a while to understand them!! I liked the Scottish black sheep though. Good that you had an enjoyable long run today. That blue sky was enticing. I'm hoping my energy will return by Thursday.

  8. actual team name was CR Bush Taggers - Aki (57:XX), NiceWhenIStop (aka Jodie) (40:XX), allrounder (1:17:49) & Barefoot (52:XX)...the results have been amended with the correct name...i don't think they are meant to link to anything...

  9. I suppose you heard abot the buddhist who walked into a pizza parlour and said 'make me one with everything'.

  10. Surely not with Pineapple?

    My biggest dilemma is to wonder: When there are ten comments, does it really count when three of them are your own?

  11. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
    produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
    little, which made him rather frail -- and with his odd diet, he
    suffered from bad breath. This made him . . . . . A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

  12. Geoff, I love your jokes (I did maths and philosophy too) - and I pass them on to all my nerdy friends. Keep 'em coming...!

  13. Nah, give up Geoff. Robert Song's are much better.

    Is it August already?!