Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Fast February

Posted by speedygeoff on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 with 3 comments
Where do I want to be in 12 months time? Still running the same kms I am now? Still the same body weight? Still the same injuries, the same strengths and weaknesses? Still the same addictions? I hope you decided on some realistic goals for 2009 after asking yourself questions like these.

I keep encountering people who decide to fast from something, or some things, in February. A one month detox, choosing February because it is the shortest month. Be it alcohol (probably the commonest one), or chocolate, or coffee, or television, what is eliminated for one month is something which takes up "too much time", is generally addictive or obsessive, and is not necessarily healthy.

While I disagree in principle with "detox", because prevention is better than cure, and because a healthy lifestyle is 24-7 and not just for one period of the year, I can appreciate that a focussed attempt to make a lifestyle change within a predetermined time period is preferable to no attempt at all.

I am joining in by fasting from coffee in February. I should have no trouble giving up coffee: I have given it up, as is often heard, "many times before".

Official Guide to Australia. Continuing the patriotic Australia Day theme, there has been a high level of interest in celebrating Australia day this year. So I dug up this list of what it means to be Australian. These are all true.

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it’s the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he’s probably a media billionaire. Or on the other hand, he may be a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of tomato sauce.

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the plastic milk crate.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as in America, but a fine example of Australian footwear. A group of sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as “a total bastard”. By contrast, your worst enemy is “a bit of a bastard”.

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word “mate” can be traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the 1890s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or “mateship”. Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

14. The wise man will choose a partner who is more attractive than himself………….to mosquitoes.

15. If it can’t be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, it’s not worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one that has the swimming pool.

17. It’s considered better to be down on your luck than up yourself.

18. The phrase “we’ve got a great lifestyle” means everyone in the family drinks too much.

19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then spend all night drinking the host’s beer. (No worries, he’ll have catered for it).

20. If there is any sort of free event or party within a hundred kilometres, you’d be a mug not to go.

21. The phrase “a simple picnic” is not known. You should take everything you own. If you don’t need to make three trips back to the car, you’re not trying.

22. Unless ethnic or a Pom, you are not permitted to sit down in your front yard, or on your front porch. Pottering about, gardening or leaning on the fence is acceptable. Just don’t sit. That’s what backyards are for.

23. The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local mayor.

24. On picnics, the Esky is always too small, creating a food versus grog battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving the salad at home.

25. When on a country holiday, the neon sign advertising the motel’s pool will always be slightly larger than the pool itself.

26. The men are tough, but the women are tougher.

27. The chief test of manhood is one’s ability to install a beach umbrella in high winds.

28. There comes a time in every Australian’s life when he/she realises that the Aerogard is worse than the flies.

29. And, finally, don’t let the tourist books fool you. No-one EVER says “cobber” to anyone … EVER!


  1. Love it! That's got to be Tripod?

    No Australia Day is complete without the Tongmaster:

  2. I'm no bloody wharfie or billionaire cobber!

    I've asked my mates at the BOM to lower the bloody temp to 30 degrees for your 5k tonight!